What do you think when something triggers you?

I used to get really easily triggered and because for a long time I was very angry (I always say that like Richard Gere with Julia Roberts legs wrapped round him haha)

I would feel really mad and ranting and moaning, probably throw some weights around or go for a tough run over what ever it was or whoever triggered me.

A few of my biggest irritants were , people talking about how women dress and whats appropriate, jokes about sexuality and commenting on rape and suicide if they never experienced it or had those thoughts. Being told what to do by anyone. Seeing my ideas or work being copied. Feeling taken advantage off when I’d offer a lot of time and energy to people (that didn’t necessary even ask for it) Feeling left out.

The emotions that come up when were triggered are often anger, upset and frustration. Shame definitely is often in the mix, though sometimes hidden as other feelings. Shame is a slippery little fucker! Difficult to spot.

I wanted to bring up being triggered for several reasons:

1: I know my purpose in life is to share my experiences and what I’ve learnt to help others heal , live and and love wholeheartedly.

2: To start conversations between friends, family, teachers/students that may start someones healing journey

3: Understanding why we feel triggered is really helpful for understanding ourselves better and working out what needs work

4: Its really very unhealthy for your mind, body or soul to be holding in anger and upset. Which is ultimately behind these emotions that rise when we.’re triggered.

Holding anger and upset means your stress levels peak, blood pressure rises, your likely to comfort eat, inflammation is also increased in the body when all this happens.

Those physical symptoms of stress lead to chronic illness and disease (read DIS - EASE - unease in the body) I’d go as far to say, if your triggered easily and regularly you’re likely to be suffering with less than optimal mental and physical health, holding on to things that could do with addressing. They always show up in the body.

Its likely some of the things I end up sharing through my work on various channels, may trigger people.

I believe it’s a great thing…. When we can be introspective about it. When not ready - its tough to navigate.

Its not my intention for that to happen specifically, or cause hurt or upset. I’d love to invite you to look at whats coming up for you if you find yourself feeling, well, triggered.

I’ve been doing a shed load of work on myself for a long time, to be brave and open up on a deeper level to you. Its been raw! Deep inner child and trauma processing on multiple levels has been going on, and still is. Being venerable enough to share my authentic self is one of the toughest journeys. Maybe you feel that too?

But that does also mean I’ll be talking about some difficult subjects. Some sexy subjects. I want to show you things considered a bit out there, and alternative ways of life and healing modalities, practices and rituals to help you fast track learning some of these things I wish I knew years ago!

I strongly believe by noticing when we are being triggered and developing the skill of self inquiry, we can start to ask what those emotions are telling us. Which ultimately means you start to HEAL.

We ALL have shit to deal with. Some people have ginormous hideous life experiences, some less so. But what we feel, we feel. Regardless of the source of trauma or stress. Your feelings really deserve honoring and respecting as a way of self love and respect. I’m aware in the depth of darkness self love can seem impossible to reach so self respect is a more of a manageable goal.

Self inquiry is about stepping back and observing the emotions and doing some excavation of them.

This means being really really honest with ourselves. Not thinking what we want to think but really looking at even the not so nice parts of our thoughts which we all have.

Whats the emotions behind the thoughts?
Whats the emotion behind the emotion?
Why are you feeling that emotion behind the emotion?
Is that person triggering you, mirroring something we need to become aware of in ourselves?
What needs to be resolved with in us to not be triggered?
What aren’t we doing that is causing the triggering in the first place?

I’m definitely not perfect at all, and occasionally I still get my buttons pressed and f-up. I’m only human…

But healing myself from the events and emotions has dramatically reduced that to minimal levels and negative feeling pass quicker.

I’ve developed an interest in what comes up, looking at things objectively, when I feel any irritation rising because I know it can help me.

Really what I’m saying to you is. if you find your self being triggered your mind is showing you something.

You may or may not be ready to deal with what ever it is just yet. That’s totally fine and feeling negative thoughts and emotions is nothing to be ashamed of. Its just a signal from the mind that somethings being stored that needs some TLC.

I also believe we find the information we need a the perfect time, even if we don’t think were ready for it. The universe knows when you are.

When your ready, or even when your not, be brave and jump in. Work out what it is, why, and ultimately taking action on dealing with those feelings is going to take you closer to healing, self acceptance and feeling calmer.

Coaches, therapists, books, podcasts, holistic therapies are all tools that can help you reach that point.

I’ll share as many of them with you as I can. And, always feel free to reach out and ask for recommendations and guidance.

Big Love
Nikki xx