Is It Normal To Feel Embarrassed about Masturbation?

If you feel embarrassed or shame about Masturbation, sometimes called self pleasure I promise your not alone. But it is a completely normal thing to do.

Just a few reasons beneath these feelings could be religious, spiritual, and cultural beliefs including from family. This can impact our entire relationship with your body and ins’t just limited to self pleasure.

I remember several moments at school when masturbation was the heart of some banter and bulling. I don’t remember the girls having those kinds of conversations but with the boys it was used in a negative way.

Both the girls not just talking about it and boys using it negatively can start to embed that shame and embarrassment from a young age.

I also think this is part of a bigger conversation about the relationship we have with our genitals.

In my Sex & Desire Workshop we have a section where we talk about this. I ask several questions for reflection including:

1: What were your genitals refereed to as a child? And what was the tone of voice that was conveyed with?
2. What do you call your genitals now and how does that make you feel?
3. Do you like the way your genitals look?

I have observed the profound effect shining a light on what can be unconscious thought patterns have on our sexuality and pleasure in regards to the relationship we have with our genitalia.

The projections that we have put on our bodies, and those from society, porn and the cosmetic industry also feeds in to that relationship with our bodies and how we see ourselves.

Masturbation is absolutely normal, it also has health benefits from relieving stress, improving sleep quality, improves mood, improves your sex by helping you understanding your needs and desires and enabling you to understand your body more.

The more we understand our bodies and explore the pleasure were capable of the better our sexual encounters are. Solo or with other people.

Something that can really help with this is Masturbation Coaching with a trained practitioner. Sounds wild right! It’s probably not what your thinking so I’ll explain a bit more.

As a Somatic Sex Coach I am able to hold talking sessions that help my students explore their relationship with their bodies and feelings around masturbation. As well as many other sexual concerns.

A bit like life coaching but using a specific coaching language called ‘clean language’ (Not the don’t swear clean language, but a way of asking questions. Repeating the language and metaphors our students use helps us delve in to the unconscious, create a more embodied experience and deeper level of understanding of ourselves.

It’s quite incredible what comes up during these talking sessions and how freeing and empowering they are in their own right. But there are also other method we use that can help you too.

Somatic coaching methods help you reconnect with your body deeply and support you in to helping you move through emotions related to self pleasure and integrate life experiences that lead to these feelings.

It’s a client centered approach free from any attraction promoting the pathway to greater pleasure.

Sessions can be done by the magic of Zoom, which I’ve noticed helps my students feel really comfortable being in their own environment. Or in person you don’t feel home is a safe place to explore this.

From a health perspective the more we know our bodies, the more we know when something isn’t right so exploring your body with curiosity will help you not just in expanding pleasure but knowing if you need a trip to the GP.

If you’d like to read more on how you can expand your pleasure, check out my blog Top Tips For Self Pleasure coming soon.

If you’d like any furthest support feel free to book a free consultation by contacting me using this link.

Big Love

Nikki xx